How do you make parenting as manageable as possible?
Tips to Raise a Good Child – It’s every parent’s dream to be the best parents that they can be for their children. However, there are usually conflicting suggestions and parenting advice on how to raise a child who is kind, responsible, and confident.
Amidst the challenge that is parenting, it’s essential to concentrate on setting priorities, balancing responsibilities, and flipping between your children’s needs, other family members’ needs, and your own needs.
Here are some good tips on how to raise a child—a good child—without losing yourself in the process:
Tips to Raise a Good Child
Boosting Your Child’s Self-Esteem
Children begin to develop their sense of self when they start to see themselves through mom and dad’s eyes. Keep in mind that your children absorb your body language, your tone of voice, and even your expressions. Your thoughts, actions, and words as a parent have an impact on their developing self-esteem.
Praising achievements, regardless if it’s big or small, would make them feel proud and fulfilled; letting your children accomplish things self-reliantly would make them feel strong and capable. On the other hand, snide comments or comparing your child critically with another would make them feel worthless.
Always choose your words thoughtfully and be gentle. Make your children understand that everybody makes mistakes. Tell them that you still wholeheartedly love them, and it’s their action or behavior that you don’t love.
Catch Your Children Being Good
Have you ever thought about how many times you reacted negatively towards your kids on any given day? You might find that your parenting style usually nit-picks and criticizes more often than praises or compliments. Consider how you would feel if your boss treated you with negative guidance, although it was well-intentioned. Not so good now, isn’t it?
Always find something to praise. Be generous with your rewards — your compliments, hug, and love could really work wonders. Soon you would find that you’re “growing” more of the actions and behavior you’d like to see.
Be Consistent With Discipline and Set Limitations
Discipline is important in every household. The aim of discipline is to guide children in learning self-control and choosing positive behaviors. They may test the limitations you set for them, but they still need those limits to develop into responsible adults.
You might want to set a system in place: you only give one warning, preceded by penalties such as a loss of privileges or “time out”. A typical mistake that parents usually make is failing to see through the consequences. You cannot discipline children for talking back and ignoring it the next day. Always be consistent with your parenting style.
Make Time for Your Children
It is usually difficult for kids and parents to sit together around the table for a family dinner, let alone bond together. However, there’s probably nothing else your kids would want more. Keep in mind that kids who are not getting the love and attention they crave from their parents usually misbehave or act out because they are going to be noticed through their negative actions.
Nonetheless, do not feel guilty if you are a working parent. Remember, it is the small things that you do, like playing cards, making popcorn, movie nights — that your kids would remember.
Be a Role Model
Younger children learn how to behave by observing their parents. Thus, before you lash out in front of your kid, consider this thought: would that be how you want your kids to act when angry? Know that you are constantly being observed by your kids.
Be the role model for the traits you want to see in your children: honesty, kindness, respect, friendliness, and tolerance. Show unselfish behavior and actions. Offer compliments and express gratitude. Ultimately, treat your children the way you want other people to treat you.
Prioritize Open Communication
You cannot expect children to do everything just because you, as their parent, “said so.” They deserve and want explanations as much as you do. If we refuse to explain, kids will start to wonder about our motives and if our actions and decisions have any basis. Moms and dads who reason with their children let them learn and understand in a nonjudgmental way.
If there is an issue that you need to work out, express your thoughts and ideas, and invite your kids to come up with a solution with you. Make sure to include consequences for negative behavior. Children who are involved in decisions tend to carry them out.
Be Flexible with Your Parenting Style
If you usually feel disappointed by your kids’ actions and behavior, it’s possible that you are setting unrealistic expectations for them.
Children’s environments have an impact on their behavior, so if your parenting goal is to change your child’s behavior, perhaps you should start by changing their environment. If you have to constantly say “no” to your toddler, find ways to change your home setup, so there are fewer things that are off-limits.
It would definitely cause less frustration and stress for both of you.
As your kids grow and mature, you will gradually have to adjust your parenting style accordingly. Odds are, what works now with your kids will not work as effectively in a couple of years.
Make Them Feel Your Unconditional Love
As a parent, you are accountable for guiding and correcting your children. Nonetheless, when you have to deal with your child, stay away from blaming or criticizing, which damages their self-esteem and could result in resentment. It would help if you always aimed to encourage and nurture, even when you are reprimanding your children. Make them understand that even though you expect and want better from them next time, you still love them unconditionally.
Recognize Your Needs as a Parent
Let’s admit it: you are also an imperfect parent, just like the rest of us. Parenting is not always easy. You have weaknesses and strengths as your family’s leader. Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, and try to make parenting as doable as possible.
Concentrate on the parenting aspects that need your attention more instead of trying to handle everything at once. Take time to recharge when you’re burned out. Don’t forget to do things that make you happy as a person and as a couple with your partner.
Keep in mind that meeting your needs doesn’t make you selfish, so don’t feel guilty. It just means that you also care about your well-being, which is an important value that your children should emulate.