Tips For Being a Step Parent. Being a parent is difficult enough – you will never stop worrying, fearing and hoping for your children, regardless of how old they are.
When you’re a step parent, you can also develop these feelings, however – it’s a lot more difficult to be a step parent than it is to be a parent, especially at first.
This article discusses some important tips for being a step parent and what you can do to form a lasting relationship with your step children.
Tips For Being a Step Parent
Big, Bad Step Parent
You may notice that you’re looked at by the step children as the big, bad guy or girl who’s intruding. This is perfectly normal and although it can easily hurt one’s feelings, the truth is that it probably has nothing to do with you!
Children are not able to rationalize and sort out their feelings the way adults are, so it’s easy to put the blame on you for something that stems somewhere else.
They may have had a particularly difficult time with their parents’ divorce and feel that you are trying to replace their mom or dad. They may also feel that with you and their mother or father together – there is no place for them.
Younger children and teenagers alike can feel this way!
Give Them Time
One thing you can do for children who feel this way is give them time. The relationship will not form overnight, but you can do several things to help it move more quickly.
The first thing is to not push yourself on the children. They need time to adjust to the new situation so that they feel comfortable with you and their parent being together and comfortable in their own place within the family.
When they get to this point, it will be easier to form a relationship with them and feel more like a true family.
In the meantime, simply let the children know that you are there for them if they need you and that you will do anything you can to help them. Then, allow them to come to you.
Time and Proof
Many times, the only thing that will get through to children that you are not there to take their parent’s place or that you’re not the bad guy is time and proof.
Older children will see how happy you have made their parent and that you’re really a good person.
As they start to realize this, they will probably begin realizing that it’s safe and okay to form bonds with you. They may start to speak with you a little bit more, ask you to play with them or take them somewhere.
This is your cue that it’s alright to try and form a relationship with them. Try and do things with them that they love to do.
As they spend more and more time with you, those important bonds will develop and soon you will have a great relationship with your step-children.
Although it’s difficult to be a step-parent, it’s also very rewarding! There are many children who have better relationships with their step parents than they do with their own parents.
Although you should always encourage them to see their biological parent, you can also be a very large part of your step-children’s’ lives!